Steps

I've got a plane ticket!!!!

And suddenly it becomes all too real. Visa is approved, ticket is purchased, date is set. Talking to a friend on the phone late last my Detroit night and her early Malawi morning, she laughs and says, well....there's no turning back now. 

Duhn duhn duuuuuhn! (dramatic sci-fi movie music) 

As inch by inching brings me slowly closer to September 28th (yeah, my newly solidified departure date) I get to see with blazing clarity the steps the Holy Spirit laid out for me way ahead of time to get to this point. Most of them didnt really look like steps as my feet stumbled over and around a path I couldn't (and still can't really) see. But from this vantage point it makes sense how my insanely and universally wise heavenly Dad set me a-walkin' a course only He could set up. It makes sense that of course I need to be humbled in order to be in a position to learn, it makes sense that desperation leads to reliance on something greater than self. That my fear-crazed scramble for answers can only be assuaged by sitting with, talking to, spending time with, yelling and screaming at, reaching for the God who just wants to see my face turned to Him. 

As I tramped around Northeast Detroit a couple days ago, photographing abandoned buildings and vacant lots for a private real estate investor, I noticed myself instead of hopping in the car driving from place to place, spending more and more time outside in the gorgeous day connecting with  spaces and structures. It's startling the disparity between the distance one feels surrounded by a steel cage and the intimacy felt with gravel and broken glass beneath one's feet. All of sudden I am a part of this scenery and I have lent to the story of this sidewalk, building, neighborhood.

(At this point I have to resist going on a tangent about the Burroughs of Detroit ignored by the grand development craze  and giants of gentrification in midtown and downtown)

The point is, I like to traverse through life surrounded by a cage of certainty and surety, forgetting the fact that God wants me out on my feet connecting with the scenery of this life He has called me to. Yes, getting glass stuck in my shoes and uncovering squatters and getting chased off a lot by huge pitbulls is a bit sketch; so is letting yourself be emotionally vulnerable or believing instead of knowing ...or hopping a plane to a different continent for a year with little to no money praying that God will provide. I guess it's chalked up to learning how to follow step by kind of scary, misplaced step. 

Keep me in your prayers, and I will keep you posted! 

P.s. here are some photos from my little excursion. I'm going to miss this beautiful city!